~Special Thanks to Squadcast~
We here at Raging Titter wanted to show our appreciation for the brief mention we got on the Squadcast aftershow this week. The editorial staff agreed that a "solid" this huge needed to be repaid in kind. Personally, I think we owe Anthony an especially huge debt. It was Anthony's most kind and sincere ejaculation of "WHO?!?" which caused Scott to mention our humble little space here A SECOND TIME. It was Cholly's idea to take care of an especially malicious problem with which Anthony has been stalwartly and silently struggling for many months now. I'm talking about the pre-op transexual hooker with the prosthetic hand and bad teeth from Queens. Anthony, you know, the one with the "big eyes" whose mouth is cheap to open, yet incredibly expensive to close. Let's just say Anthony's beer money isn't going to be building any more "cardboard condos". Our staff photographer hopes you appreciate the photo. He also apologizes for the darkness of the picture but, you know, evidence.
Raging Titter will also debut a less felonious surprise for Squadcast next week.
I'm dedicating the rest of this post to things which I think have been unduly forgotten. We're going to start with one of my favorite internet legends, Libby Hoeller. Libby will always have a special place in my heart because she's from my very own state. She also singlehandedly put to bed one of my most hotly debated and controversial topics ever discussed under the influence of black light and Boone's Farm. Specifically, I mean why some of the chicks in our dorm took so long answering the door. God Bless you Libby Hoeller.
Let's keep the happy vibe rolling out with our next topic, September 11th. As I was getting my hair cut I heard one of the stylists shouting to an elderly woman under a hair dryer that she couldn't wait to see the World Trade Center movie. Really? Was your cable box stuck on HGTV that day? Was your reality user interface on the fritz that day? Did you forget to set your tragedy alarm? Let me save you from yourself, o butcher of follicles. Try a movie called Fearless. Now I'll grant that watching a movie that you don't already have an expectation of what you're supposed to feel at the end can be quite the emotional gambit. However, I find quite often it is worth the risk.
Now this next thing might be something I just keep forgetting, but I'm only of average intelligence so I suspect others have forgotten as well. Stay in touch with your exes. They are the greatest resource of dating advice you will ever find. They know you, so they don't have to speak in generalities or hypotheticals. Once again, they know you, so they probably know how to talk to you. Here's a couple of recent gems from a few women that didn't work out:
- 1< "You're acting like the mayor of Crazytown on election night."
- 2< "You know what your problem is? You don't know how to chase girls. You always make them come to you. At least break out into a jog every little once in a while. It'd be good for you, you silly goddamned pork chop of a man."
- 3< "I don't want to help you with your girl troubles. I have to. What you were like when we were together I don't wish on any woman. Ever."
- 4<"You have to stop thinking of yourself as charming; you aren't charming. You have character. You're memorable. You're like a perfectly restored 68 Dodge Super Bee with one primer gray door."
- 5<"You're very charming; you're just impossible sometimes. At least you were. You're still impossible aren't you? ADMIT IT!!!.............. Sorry. You should do that thing where you brush the back of your hand across her cheek before you kiss her."
***Out of Touch Comic Book Review***
The guys at The Ozone Nightmare Podcast got me hooked on the sweet Spider Jerusalem junk.