Glenn Beck has lost a number of advertisers, but in true Fox News zealotry, he's singling out just one company for his Johnny Unitas haircut having wrath. A well-placed source on the janitorial staff at Fox News has confirmed that Glenn Beck will initiate a boycott of Clorox bleach. Clorox is one of 33 advertisers who've pulled their advertising from Beck's show. It has also been confirmed that Beck has dubbed the boycott, "The Skidmark Revolution".
Apparently, he will be encouraging his viewers to boycott Clorox and fly their "tightey whiteys" in protest and to anally maintain the boycott's "thin brown picket line". Beck's comments will include a very special entreaty to conservative Christian households.
"Jesus gave us the ass gravy and it should be considered blasphemous and unpatriotic to hide or remove it." Beck will then cry for 8 minutes and joke about the extraordinary cleanliness of President Obama's "draws".
In order to promote the ass-roots political action, Beck will appear on his show in his own pair of tightey- whiteys with "the brown eye seal of approval". Ever the savvy broadcaster, Beck's underwear will also reportedly be 2 sizes too small in order to curry favor with new advertiser, Welch's Grape Juice.
More on the story can be found here.