Objects And Artifacts: Kenner Cares

In 1984, Kenner desperately wanted you to know that they care. THEY REALLY CARE! I found this exceptionally emphatic message inside the instruction manual for something called the SPIROTOT. And I immediately noticed a lot of politically incorrect ideas. I know it was a "different time" and all that jazz, but we must hold corporations responsible for their products!

First, the use of the word "tender" is totally insensitive to vegans and vegetarians. When I read the word "tender", my brain immediately tacks on the phrase "all white meat chicken". I'm pretty sure that's true for most people. Don't eat meat? You're marginalized by the people at Kenner.

Next, the phrase "loving care" takes for granted the number of people who could be reading the manual and actively suffering from some flavor of attachment disorder. The words "loving care" may have no concrete meaning to people who never experienced this concept as children. The disconnect may even lead an afflicted parent reading the manual to commit a horrible act of child abuse in response to these careless words.

The final example is buried a bit in the text, but it's definitely filled with racism, xenophobia, and elitism. If a person does find a problem with the toy they are to "describe" the problem and mail that description to the address below. The people at Kenner very cleverly got around using the verb "write" but it is most definitely implied. What about illiterate people Kenner? What about immigrants whose first language isn't English and wouldn't know how to "write a description"? What about the poor who may have trouble affording the postage? And most importantly, what about the homeless. Homeless people would have quite a time including their address even if they successfully maneuvered all of your draconian steps!

Kenner cares!?! The fuck it does.

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